What are your must have baby items?

A baby item checklist for a new mum

I'm often asked which things are essentials to buy from friends and family, especially those who are expecting children. Whilst sorting out baby items in an attempt to sort out my house to get it on the market to sell (I need a bigger house for these boys to destroy!) I thought I'd make a list of essential items for new mums and those that aren't essential at all!

When we had Noah, I had an afternoon in Mothercare where it became a little like Supermarket sweep and I bought so many items (some unnecessarily!) Much to my husband's annoyance, some of these items were never used!

Firstly, essential items:

Car seat. Second time round, we bought a Maxi Cosi pebble car seat. Some said it was a bit pricier than others (once you've bought the base too) however, it's perfect and hands down, is the best infant car seat. The head hugger is a perfect fit and adjustable straps are ideal. Baby is always comfortable, safe and happy and the built in hood is a welcome feature to shield from the elements. It's also compatible with a travel system, although we've never used in this way. Friends who use it as part of a travel system seem to really like it too!

Baby slings have been my saviour. Being a mum of a baby and toddler, I often need to be 'hands free' to deal with toddler tantrums and when he decides to sprint like Linford Christie off in the opposite direction! When Isaac was born, we used a Close Caboo and he loved it. Easy to use (you put it on a bit like a t shirt and adjust!) and it was perfect for bonding and snuggles when he was unsettled in the early days. When he was a little older, we changed to a Connecta sling and we love ours and use it almost daily. Perfect and easy to use (with pretty patterns too!) ours has an African animal print, called Zoology! We love it! We're waiting on a Solarweave one for forthcoming holidays, as it has built in UV protection. Both Close Caboos and Connectas are priced at around £60. 

A breast pump. Breast pumps are not made equally! After expressing for Noah for 14 months, I've built up a huge repertoire of breast pumps and breastfeeding paraphernalia. The best one on the market is Medela's Freestyle double electric. It comes with accessories and a bag for storage and is invaluable. Priced at around £300, it's the high end of the price ladder, but there's no comparison to this and the others if tried out. It's in a league of its own!

For little babies, clothing from Next, Debenhams and M&S with built in mits are a necessity. I don't know if it's just my boys, but I ended up with a random assortment of odd mits as they tended to lose them at every opportunity!

Muslin cloths were my go to item with a reflux baby! I've bought so many of them, but my favourites are from M&S and Asda. Both reasonably priced and essential! Either plain or a funky pattern, they're fab and so absorbent!

Gro bags from Gro Company are amazing! Warm, snuggly and safe, with the added feature that you can undo from the bottom for a fuss free nappy change (even in the dark!) I bought a few of these and they wash well too. I think I paid between £20-30 for ours. Worth their weight in gold! 

Lansinoh nipple cream. A wonder product with so many uses. Perfect for sore nipples in the early days and great as a lip balm, for dry skin and as a nappy cream too. Priced at around £10 for a 40ml tube, it's my go to product!

When you're a tired mum and feeling tired from all of your duties as a mum, products to save time such as dry shampoo are a godsend! Batiste dry shampoo is my staple product, ideal for a quick freshen up. I usually buy when it's on offer and stock up!

Estée Lauder double wear foundation is amazing! Even when my skin is looking dull and tired, it conceals what lies beneath. At around £30, a little goes a long way and in the summer, I mix with moisturiser for a lighter look.

Things that I didn't need;

A baby bath! Completely unnecessary, I used a bath seat and inserted that into our big bath. First time round, I used it around 3 times, then it just took up loft space!

When pregnant with Noah, I bought a multitude of baby shoes. Spent a fortune on cute shoes, high tops etc and we'd be lucky if they'd stay on his feet! Little ones don't need shoes at all, buy some funky socks instead! 

Baby mits (see above!) we never managed to keep them on, so use the built in ones in baby gros. 

Cot bumpers. Not only can these be dangerous (as a suffocation hazard) they're just not necessary. I spent a fortune on a matching Winnie the Pooh set (including a bumper, curtains, nappy stacker, blanket, quilt etc) I'll not say how much I spent, otherwise I fear I may be divorced now! 

I wasted a lot of money in those early days of buying products I didn't find useful. What's your favourite and essential item and what did you find unnecessary? 

 

Is he a good baby?

Is he a good baby?

I'm often asked if Isaac is a good baby. What do they mean by the phrase 'a good baby'? Yes, he lets me know when he's tired, when he's hungry, in pain or needs a comforting hug. He's happy, content and has developed a good bond with me, his daddy and big brother; he knows that he's loved.

However, every time this question is asked, this leads to the elusive conversation of 'does he sleep through the night?' In short, no! He wakes regularly to be fed, for comfort and sometimes he's awake early and goes to bed a little later. When did this become a judgement of how good you are as a parent? Aren't there other aspects in the judging criteria of strangers and often, family members? It doesn't appear so!

People are very quick to judge and make many assumptions: thus coming to the conclusion that 'good babies' are those that sleep through the night, and 'bad babies' are those that don't. Babies (and children!) will sleep through when they're developmentally ready. Our toddler doesn't 'sleep through', nor do me or my husband. We once slept for a straight 12 hours on a pre children holiday and that was notably astounding for us. We often reminisce about the days where we'd sleep more soundly!

As we are already the proud owner of an excitable toddler- one who's historically been a little sleep shy and has always had an early wake up time (much to my husband's displeasure!)- we knew what we were getting ourselves in for second time round. We were already exhausted anyway, so when planning to extend our family from one to two children, we thought that we may as well increase our family and keep going on minimal sleep. Insane, possibly? We're hoping to reap the benefits when they're teens and catch up on sleep then.

When we brought Isaac home, for the first week he fed pretty much hourly, 24/7! But then would feed every 1-2 hours during the day and on an evening, would do 5-8 hour stretches. Wow, how I miss those days! The 4 month sleep regression took its toll and Isaac has had a varying sleep/feeding pattern and the recent introduction of solids at 6 months has resulted in a little more wakefulness. In time, I believe he will sleep through, but when he's ready, not when he's manipulated (by imposed methods such as Controlled Crying!)

The ISIS online website gives a good insight into normal sleep development. Interestingly, ISIS States that:

'By the time babies are 3 months old some (but not all) begin to start settling (sleeping through a night-time feed for a stretch of up to 5 hours). By the time they are 5 months old half of them may have started to sleep for an eight-hour stretch on some nights. Generally, though, babies do not sleep all night-every night until they are close to a year old. One study investigating infant sleep duration found that 27% of babies had not regularly slept from 10pm to 6am by the age of 1 year. 13% of babies had not regularly slept through for 5 hours or more by the age of 1 year.' (ISIS website; https://www.isisonline.org.uk/how_babies_sleep/normal_sleep_development/)

Last night was a 'good' night, with only 3 night feeds between 7.30-5.30. However, tonight could be hourly wake ups and whimpering at 5.30am for a hug. That's fine, I'll continue to meet his needs, after all, that's what a 'good mum' does for her 'good baby' (whatever that actually is...)

So when you see me and comment that I look 'tired/exhausted/about to keel over/need some pampering/look like I need a decent night of sleep' do me a favour, make me a coffee and get the cake and biscuits out; I'm doing what I know is best for my boys, after all, I am the expert in them!